DON'T WANT NO SHORT, SHORT MAN....

Ever since i met the professor there have been a few things i have wanted to get off my chest, up until now i have held back from letting the truth be told as i liked him and didn't want to accept it's going nowhere (not even i would air my laundry publicly if i was still sleeping with someone). However, i can safely say it's done... We had finally got things back on track a few days ago and he was actually being sweet and attentive, he invited me to a magazine launch the following day and was telling me he missed me and all the rest. So, when the next day came i got NO phone call, NO text not EVEN a bloody Instant message...WTF!!! (and have heard nothing since) I seriously think he is clinically insane, especially since I'm a little hottie and he's a skanky mess...

"YOU'RE NOT BIG YOU'RE NOT CLEVER, NO YOU AIN'T A BIG FELLA, NOT BIG WHATSOEVER" Cited from Lily Allen "Not Big":

I can't express the disappointment i felt when i first met it, thankfully it made up for in width what it lacked in height, to provide a clearer picture, you could just about get your hand (I have TINY hands) around it but there was no space for any kind of movement. Now in the past when i have encountered such a thing i have ran for the hills, but something made me give it a go and try and work with what god had given him (bless!) There is one positive thing i can say for such a little mouse and that is, you could actually do positions with no discomfort that never really worked with anything average or above.

NO YOU DIDN'T:

It was only on our second sexual encounter that the professor felt that it would be somehow acceptable to SPIT from a height onto my bits (too much porn, too much porn....) I tried to ignore it and carry on but when he spat a second time and i saw the phlegm fall from his mouth and splatter on my lady parts, i had to explain to him that this was not appropriate behaviour and he needed to refrain from spitting on me...please. (if he wanted things to be more moist there's a quite a lot you can do... lazy fool)

Now, there is so much more to it than penis size and spitting, in fact these things were not huge concerns of mine, (strangely enough) the things that mattered and drove me crazy were:

• The number of times i was left waiting for him after we'd made plans to meet, i would have rushed home from work, after being excited all day about seeing him, would spend ages getting ready to make myself absolutely flawless, and then i would wait and wait... and not hear anything! Generally the excuse was that he's passed out (coke head). But, seriously this wasn't once or twice this was 6 or 7 times, in about 5 weeks!! The most tragic thing was that i would never no when to give up waiting, so i would leave it to the final hour when i would reluctantly remove all make up, tie my hair up and got my pyjamas on... waste of a shave, waste of nice knickers
• So, after the above treatment, i would often find myself either ignoring him (a day was about all i could manage) or telling him that we should "just be friends", "this isn't working" or when i was less rational "fuck this". The responses i would get would be so dramatic "NO"... "Don't say that"..."I'll make it up to you"... "I really like you" blah, blah, blah... I feel sick to admit that when he said these things a huge smile would spread across my face and all the knots in my stomach would undo.
  
• He was completely unreasonable and would get upset with me over the weirdest of things. For example: One of my BFF's and a good friend came to visit me from London, as soon as they'd left he started ignoring me and being weird (for about 3 days.) Now, take into consideration, over these few days, i was homesick, had NO money and had stormed out of my job after a massive row with my boss (he knew all of this). He finally confessed that he was "hurt" as he felt i had put him aside for my friends?!! (this is 2 weeks into seeing each other.) He was fully aware that things were going shitty for me, but his feelings were so much more important than anything else... ARSEHOLE!!!!!!!

Now I am going to remain single and strong, so, hopefully, this will be the last you will hear of the professor...