HANDLE WITH CARE

After not being overally impressed with my date with ex-offender, am confused to how I found myself being kept up all night with a 4 hour long disturbing monologue?

I had been looking forward to meeting with Professor Umbridge that night, but instead was in bed my 10.30 (alone). So, obviously when Ex texts asking if he can come round, I felt he may as well, after all i was all shaved, moisturised within an inch of my life and ready to go. I already mentioned that he talks a lot, well, I don't think I quite realised just how much. I have never had anything like it, he was sat up (in the dark) ranting and raving about all types of crazy shit, I could not get one word in edge ways, here's a brief description of how it went.

• HE LIKES ME: Everyone at work had commented on how happy he'd looked that day, he explained it was cos of being with me the night before... I tell him "whatever" (I really don't want to hear that shit, I don't like him and i CERTAINLY do not want to hear that he likes me) But to no surprise a man is incapable of leaving it at that and continues to insist that it's true, he had such a great time blah, blah. And its not just that he thinks I'm hot but he really enjoys talking with me, he's actually interested in what i have to say (??!!) This was so frustrating, i kept trying to move the conversation on but he thinks this is me not believing him and having low confidence, as if i need some reassurance (Are you fucking kidding me, just shut up and come here to do what you're here for) This is something that irritates me so much with men, they have such huge ego's, it would never cross their mind that when you tell them "whatever" or "shut up" you actually mean it. Ugh!
  
• MY MOTHER'S A WHORE: Apparently his mother is a whore, she is dating 3 men, one is a meth taking biker who's in jail, another she doesn't like but he pays for stuff and think I'd switched off momentarily with the third. It's difficult to know what to say when someone is calling there mum a whore (very loudly) looking forward with a crazy glint in their eye and clenched fists! I tried to suggest that maybe she is going through a bit of a breakdown? To which he screams "8 YEARS she's been like this 8 YEARS!!!!!"
• GROWING UP IN THE HOOD: The usual tale of how hard it was growing up. In this case it was Philly, and apparently it was hard. He spent over an hour retelling his life story, which included: being the only white guy in his neighborhood, being shot at, stab wounds, gang fights, normal fights, and more fights, think there was some drug tales too.... Seriously? I wasn't even in this conversation, didn't say a bloody word (or sound) he just talked and talked and talked.... And like any girl i have heard this story a million times from a million boys and it makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. It's so cringe worthy, why do they do this? Can't they keep it for their mates?
• DOING TIME: Now, he spoke about a lot of other stuff over the 4 hours, this was the only story that made me feel like i should listen. He ONLY went to maximum security for 2 weeks, as the defendant never turned up to court so he got out. Excuse me?!!!

So, now i realise that telling ex-offender that i never want to see him again must be handled with care. I get a variety of texts the next day asking if i want to go to brunch, what am i doing tonight etc... I decided text is the only way, so tell him very nicely that I don't think we should see each other as I feel weird about my ex, he was very good about it. It really is fabulous to be freshly single and able to use the ex excuse to such a great advantage, can get you out of all sorts of situations...