LETTING OFF STEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to put my hands up and confess: I love Lily Allen, in fact i am going to wave them up high and shout it... She has been a guilty pleasure of mine for a while now, but recently she has really stepped up and become not only my therapist but also, she is me/I am her.

Without Lily, i would be an even bigger pathetic mess. Whenever I am dealing with boy trouble or about to cave in and do something stupid, Lily reels me back in.

Below, shows why Lily has become my life guru:
In moments of weakness, I whack on "Shame for you"

"Shattered the lie but you think I don't already know, Don't try to deny 'cause my fuse is ready to blow It's your turn to learn I think you know where to go It's a shame shame shame for you"

These words make me feel strong and fab and "fuck you!!!" It is a shame for you, a shame for you and your little penis...

Oh, and the opening of the song (loves it):

"I've been thinking that you've crossed the line, If you disappeared that would be just fine, 'cause you waste my time and waste my money and you're not too cool and not too funny! Spreading your seed all over the town getting too greedy and messing around: Oh my gosh you must be joking me If you think that you'll be poking me."

OK, so maybe i don't actually feel this way, maybe i am desperate for a reappearance. However, when i hear this it makes me stronger and it feels GREAT!!

Seriously, you rarely hear women talk like this so publicly (except feminists and butch dikes, so no one listens as they are ugly) but to have a hot, young, feminine girl exposing her exes so publicly is so empowering. Those men needed telling, and I love her for it... I'm sick of mothering these little fuckers and massaging their egos.

And as for not big:

"I saw you thought this was gonna be easy, Well, you're out of luck. Yeah, let's rewind, let's turn back time to when you couldn't get it up, You know what it shoulda ended there, That's when I shoulda shown you the door. As if that weren't enough to deal with, You became premature."

Thank you lil!!! He couldn't get it up??? Why didn't it end there, its a good question, so, if i had a penis which became incompetent, do you think Tom, Dick and Harry would be hanging around, trying to build up my confidence trying to find ways to approach the subject and deal with it...NO fucking way!!!

So, next time your feeling heartbroken and sad about a retarded male, put on one of the following songs:

• Lily Allen "Not Big"
• Lily Allen "Shame for you"
• Lily Allen "Smile"
• Beyonce "If I was a boy"
• Beyonce "Irreplaceable"
• Kelis "Caught out there"
• Destiny's Child "Independent Woman"
• Britney Spears "Stronger"
• Aretha Franklin "R.E.S.P.E.C.T"
• Kelly Clarkson "Since you've been gone"

I'm telling you it works, even if only for a minute, it could save you from getting into all sorts of trouble or degrading situations
(Have you looked at these girls!! How are such beautiful, talented, intelligent ladies, being put in situations where they even need to sing about this stuff... No man could EVER look as good)

And, ones to avoid at all costs:

• Sinead O'Connor "Nothing Compares to you" Umm, lots of things compare to you, such as arseholes, vomit, vermin...
  
• The Pretenders "I'll stand by you" If your not going to tell me what's wrong, and act like a moody dick then you know where the door is.
• Roxette "Must have been Love" blah, blah, blah, shut your mouth buy a handbag (Miu Miu, Marc Jacobs... Things will feel great)

And all of these are from the 80's WTF??!! Shoulder pads, women climbing up the corporate ladder... Seriously?